Welcome to episode 41 of the Your Kick-Ass Life podcast. I’m so glad you’re here, today’s guest is awesome and you’re going to love her. She is The Imperfectionista, Ms. Katie Thies. Katie is a life coach who runs online and in-person creative, hands-on workshops. Her specialty clients are the perfectionists and the co-dependents of the world.
I met Katie at Brene Brown’s training over the summer, and I was super thrilled to bring her on the podcast. Today we talk about her quest for the perfect black tank top and what it can teach us all about perfectionism, how perfectionism has gotten in her way and what tools she recommends to help us be ok with “good enough”.
On the topic of the black tank top incident, Katie vulnerably shares about the maddening quest she undertook to find the “life-altering perfect” tank top for a dance class video she was performing in. After hours of frustration, countless variations of black tank tops and even some tears, Katie realized her quest wasn’t about the piece of clothing, it was about her fear of not being good enough.
Relying on her knowledge of self-help and some close friends, Katie was able to dive into what was really going on for her, accept herself and eventually give herself permission to perform in a “good enough” tank top.
We also talk about:
- Why perfectionism is really just a falsehood.
- How we as women set incredibly high expectations for ourselves.
- Why we must get comfortable with letting go.
- The importance of shame work.
- What perfectionism is really covering up.
- And much more!
On that same topic of perfectionism, Katie and I talk about where else past or present examples of it have gotten in her way. Again she’s a total trooper and candidly explains how and why she scrapped her original coaching practice. About a year ago she tossed away all she had built, and rebranded and redefined her life coach business to authentically reflect who she is, what she loves and how she wants to work with others.
When she’s working with other people, she sees that same perfectionistic theme show up for so many of them. It looks one of two ways for them: either they act in obvious perfectionist ways (like editing something 12 times before it’s finished) or they completely avoid doing something because they’re afraid to fail at it.
Procrastination often goes arm in arm with perfectionism. So often we’re afraid to fail so we don’t even try, or we don’t try because what if we succeed? What will other people say about us and what happens when we fail after we’ve succeeded? Many of us let this procrastination-perfectionism cycle make our decisions for us.
When we find ourselves in that loop or see any other perfectionism running the show, Katie and I talk about some tools to help. The first one is to simply talk about it. When you name something, it stops having power over you. So talk with someone you trust about what you’re doing and why.
Another great suggestion is to find something you’re a beginner at and go do it! Go bake one of those gorgeous cakes you see on your Pinterest board, and don’t worry about how it turns out because you’re a beginner.
All of those tools and suggestions are available to help you cultivate self-compassion and self-love so you can let go of your need to be perfect. Katie and I chat about so much more, do tune in to hear it all! A great big thanks to Katie and to YOU for being here on today’s episode of Your Kick Ass Life!
Katie Thies is a certified life coach, member of the International Coach Federation (ICF) and Certified Daring Way™ Facilitator-Candidate (CDWF-Candidate). Katie is a skilled workshop facilitator and an accomplished public speaker. She is also “the Imperfectionista,” a reformed perfectionist who has worked to embrace the beauty of her imperfection. Katie is committed to helping people let go of their need to be perfect and embrace who they are.
Katie also has an extensive background in movement and art, and creatively intertwines these practices into her coaching. Katie runs coaching workshops in Scottsdale, Arizona and works with individual clients nationwide. Special areas of interest include: Perfectionism, Codependency, Creativity, Authenticity, Movement, Recovery, Experiential Group Coaching & Workshops.
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