What if everything you are is already here?
I talk to a lot of women that want something. They want to be happier, leave their marriages, find love, slow down, be more confident. And many times, they believe they need to change who they are as a human in order to get that. They think they need to have a complete overhaul of themselves and come out the other end a different person. Maybe become someone they admire or some version of themselves they make up is better than who they are now.
The truth is, if you want to change your life, you have everything you need right now. You don’t need to become a different person. You just need to shed parts of you that aren’t working for you anymore. Maybe they worked at one point and maybe they never did, but at some point in your life you adopted a way of thinking and a way of being that stuck.
Maybe your marriage isn’t great, or you’ve been single forever and you’re attached to the thought that you aren’t good enough in a relationship, you’re hard to love, and this is just how it’s going to be for you. Or maybe you don’t feel confident and you’re convinced you’re not as smart, beautiful, or worthy as the other women you compare yourself to. Or maybe you just know deep down you are destined for more– you’re not sure what– but you know it’s great and you were meant to be great. And since you’re not quite there yet you’re convinced you’re failing at life.
The thing all of those examples have in common is there’s a story attached. A shit story about who you are. A story that you’re doing “life” wrong, you aren’t good enough and you need to get x, y and z to be good enough and you need to have a, b, and c to feel good enough.
And the truth is that’s total bullshit.
You were born ready to live a great life. You were born lovable and worthy of everything you want. Love, connection, safety, joy, creativity, an amazing-beautiful-peaceful life. It’s all in you and always has been. What needs to change is the shedding of old behaviors, but first the shedding of old stories. So, for today, I want you to just do two things:
- Think about your stories. What stories do you make up as truth that are keeping you in a prison? The stories that are making you run around in circles with your hair on fire? Write them down. Some prompts are, “I make up that I’m not good enough because…” Or “I’ll never get to where I want to be because…” And sit back and ask yourself: Is this the story I want to be married to? And if you don't, what do you need to let go of to change your story?
- Take some time to imagine what your life would be like if you shed those stories. Just imagine, I’m not asking you to radically and magically divorce those stories and take on the world (but if you do that, #getitgirl). It’s sort of like trying on a new outfit. You’ve been wearing the same one for so long, you don’t even know it’s there. You go into the closet and just try on a new one. Just to see. What would it be like, how would you feel, how would you be different?
You don’t need to change who you are. You were made for greatness. You are greatness.