Andrea is intuitive, compassionate, & inspirational. She has an amazing talent for picking up on things you want to say but can't verbalize and has compassion for your struggles,
Rebekah Bissell
Andrea Owen is the epitome of positive attitude and is in the midst of changing one individual at a time.
Kate Cardinali
I truly love coaching with Andrea! With her fierce love, in-your-face style, and side-splitting humor, Andrea makes room for only my brightest gems to shine through.
Jenny Ferry
Andrea's practical, no B.S. style kept me on my toes as she challenged me to be true to my heart's desires.
Sacha Cruse
One of Andrea’s greatest gifts is to relate deeply to where you've been and guide you powerfully to where you are going. She's a laser beam of truth shedding light in your darkness.
Jess Weiner, Founder of the Actionist Network
You helped save me. Began getting my shit together 9 months ago and reconnecting with the real me. Along the way I found you! THANK YOU for being a piece in the evolution that is me!
Pamela Oelker
The vision I have for my future improved because of working with Andrea, and the most useful thing I learned is to always (always, always, always!) ignore my gremlin.
Emily-Anne Rigal, Founder of We Stop Hate
I keep following your work and I love what you say and the way you say it: it's very inspiring and it helps me get further along on the path that I am creating for myself.
Francesca Rossitto
Great stuff Andrea. Not to hijack this post but I have some strong feelings about this topic. Relationships are wonderful personal growth machines. I am of the strong opinion that unless a man completely gets all the way in when it comes to his relationship with his wife or girlfriend, the relationship will not be anywhere near where it could be. This means setting the tone, taking the lead, with complete honesty, love, integrity and courage. We have two models of men in our society. We have the patriarchal male who is typically aggressive, controlling, dominant, and angry. He has the need to look powerful and is overly associated with traditional masculine traits. This man is known as the “fighter”. My dad was in this category when he was younger. The second model of masculinity is the “evolved sensitive New-Age Guy”. This man is typically a reaction to the fighter. This is the nice guy who tries to be 180 degrees different from his father or the other “bad” men about whom he has heard women complain. In order to control his world and manage his anxiety, this man tends to flee and freeze. His life strategies include avoiding difficult things, hiding, fixing, caretaking, problem solving, approval seeking, and giving to get. He is subtly manipulative, rather than outwardly controlling. He tends to be passive-aggressive as opposed to being aggressive. He has a need to look perfect and he’s overly associated with traditionally feminine traits. This man is known as the fixer. This man is managed by his anxiety. Is there a happy-middle-ground between the two? Unfortunately, there is no tipping point between two dysfunctional extremes. Men need a new model. The “Ascertainer” isn’t driven by a need to manage his anxiety by trying to control people and situations outside of him. Therefore he can show up in life and in relationships with strength, courage, and honesty. He can be vulnerable and transparent. He can let people get close to him and he can handle feelings of separation. He is passionate, lives up to his potential,
and gives his gift to the world. He can ascertain what is most needed in any given situation. He has appropriate boundaries and can communicate his needs clearly. He can get All The Way In in a relationship and lead with
love and integrity.
Ah, Arba, you are a very wise man. I am lucky to know you and call you my friend
YES! YES! YES!! Couldn’t agree with you more. Our identity isn’t about WHAT happens to us, it’s about HOW we deal with it… WHO we are really BEING as we deal with circumstance. If you don’t like your circumstance, but you CHOOSE to not make a change… THEN YOU ARE CHOOSING WHAT YOU’VE GOT. Not rocket science! Thanks so much for such a great share! xo
Ha ha! NOT rocket science, for sure!
Yep, not choosing is a choice too!! You’re the bomb, Andrea Owen!
Andrea ~ Loving this video and topic ~ you go girl!!! Thank you for sharing! xo
You can know that you don’t know, but you cannot know what you don’t know. The thing is, most of this knowledge is intuitive, and apparent to those around us. So the key seems to be fleshing out the actionable in all of this. Is it a start to develop conventions whereby we are able to see our circumstances apart from ourselves?
Hi Michael,
I agree that we cannot know what we don’t know. But, I do think that people in a relationship that isn’t serving them, deep down know that it’s bad. If they choose to listen to that little voice is entirely up to them.
Denial can be very powerful and take center stage for decades.
Totally on board here with what you are saying. I’ll have to say that in taking responsibility and making the changes that need to be done is an on going process when choosing to stay in the relationship. Recognizing that some relationships can go forward and heal from past transgressions, but…other issues may arise from that process and again you have to make choices as to what to now do about that.
One poster commented about the two types of men, well there are more than 2, there is the “actor” too. The one that shares all your dreams and goals But when things like children come along, or your attention is diverted away from the initial “in-love” phase, the facade begins to fail because your attention on them is no longer there and they lose the facade that attracted you to them in the first place. They become who they really are, an insecure mama’s boy, and then you have to deal with their insecurities and all that you thought was real comes falling down, and now you have one more child on your hands. Someone that begins to take the life out of you when you were expecting equal give and take (you know…those goals and dreams you one shared). And even with life balancing out and they begin to grow-up and take on responsibility (because now you have 5 kids) the relationship has taken a big hit and the passion is gone. (hmmm a little self revealing here! LOL). I take responsibility for not having my eyes wide open from the beginning. And I’m doing that now. Though I do feel like I’m on the edge of the 10 meter diving board.
I just bought your e-book today after being connected with your site for a few months now. I want that kick-ass life. I hope you book helps me along the way.