Andrea answers an email she received from a woman who completed the 14 Days of Free Coaching Delivered to Your Inbox. The email was so common to the problems that clients bring to coaching 1:1, she decided to create a 2-part podcast episode breaking down the email and laying down some groundwork.

In this episode I (not sure why I was talking in third person above?) discuss how perfectionistic, high-achieving women who seem to have everything going on on the inside, may have debilitating self talk that is holding them back in many areas of their life.

If you liked this episode, please use the share buttons! And leave a comment on any questions that you have or even anything YOU use to help this!

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Part two of one of my most popular and searched for blog posts turned into a podcast! I’ve enlisted my bestie and relationship expert, Amy Smith, to discuss TEN ways to get over your heartbreak. This is the second half of a two part episode, click here for part one. Enjoy…

And at the end of the podcast, please let us know:

Which one do you struggle with the most? Which one is the easiest? Or what did we miss?

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Amy E. Smith is a certified and credentialed personal and couples life coach, masterful speaker, and relationship and personal empowerment expert. Owner and founder of Joy Junkie Enterprises, Amy uses her roles as coach, writer, and speaker to move individuals beyond limiting beliefs and sabotaging mindsets to a place of radical personal empowerment and self-love. Co-founder of TheSelfLoveRevolution.com, Amy has been instrumental in aiding hundreds of women in stepping into their authentic power and craft lives they desire. She is highly sought after for her uncommon style of irreverence, wisdom, and humor and has been a featured expert on Fox 5 San Diego and YourTango.com. Start stalking Amy at www.TheJoyJunkie.com and grab some free loot while you’re there.

And at the end of the podcast, please let us know:

Which one do you struggle with the most? Which one is the easiest? Or what did we miss?

Right click to download the .mp3.

Amy E. Smith is a certified and credentialed personal and couples life coach, masterful speaker, and relationship and personal empowerment expert. Owner and founder of Joy Junkie Enterprises, Amy uses her roles as coach, writer, and speaker to move individuals beyond limiting beliefs and sabotaging mindsets to a place of radical personal empowerment and self-love. Co-founder of TheSelfLoveRevolution.com, Amy has been instrumental in aiding hundreds of women in stepping into their authentic power and craft lives they desire. She is highly sought after for her uncommon style of irreverence, wisdom, and humor and has been a featured expert on Fox 5 San Diego and YourTango.com. Start stalking Amy at www.TheJoyJunkie.com and grab some free loot while you’re there.

• Make it your side hustle. Please for the love of God don’t quit your day job right off the bat and jump into your business. It will take time to build your new business, so make it your 5-9 job, or your “side hustle”. When I started my business my full time job was being a stay-at-home-mom to two very small children (and if you don’t think that’s a job, come over and try to do it for a week. Without getting paid. I dare you.). It took 18 months of doing the side hustle to be able to actually rely on the business for income. Yes, there are exceptions, but don’t risk being able to pay your mortgage because you think you’re going to be an exception.
• Put money aside for certifications. I often get asked, “Do I need to take classes or get credentialing to be a life coach?”. My short answer is YES, although there are people out there that disagree with me. Coaching has so many facets and there are so many tools to be learned to better serve your clients. Life experience is great, but in my opinion, not enough.
• If you can help it, don’t do it alone. People look at the outside of my business (ie website, social media presence, etc.) and they think I work my ass off 24/7. I do work my ass off, but the real truth is, I have help. I have an amazing Virtual Assistant who saves me over and over again, a talented web designer, a babysitter, and a mastermind group that I’m asking for help from on a regular basis. Yes, you CAN do it alone, (and sometimes necessary) but it’ll be harder. Another truth here is, there have been months along the way when sometimes my babysitter and VA make more money than I do. Having help can be a big expense and it’s a personal choice.
• Focus on one thing at a time. Especially in the beginning. You will go bat-shit crazy if you try to put all your energy and emphasis on everything. You simply cannot go petal to the metal with social media, blogging, building your list, getting a full load of clients, creating your website, etc. all at the same time. Unless you have a full-time team helping you, it simply can’t be done. My advice on which to choose first is building your list and blogging.
• Remember it will take you YEARS to be “successful”. Don’t tell me you’ve never stalked another coach and had the jealousies of how successful they are. And you compare and despair and your fall into the “I’ll-never-be-as-successful-as-them-why-can’t-I-have-it-now” bullshit. Seriously guys, no one became successful overnight or even in six months. And keep in mind- you have NO idea how much money people are really making unless you see their tax records. Patience and persistence will be your besties from here on out.
• Don’t give up. Speaking of persistence. You will have setbacks. You will have sucky days (or months). Don’t quit the first year or two. As a rule- It may be three solid years of your best effort before you really see the profit you want. I’ve asked lots of coaches how long it took them, and it seems to be the 3-5 year mark.
• Always do what feels good to you…even if it’s not what everyone else is doing. There is no perfect way to do things. The only perfect way is YOUR way. Yes, there are some steps that will help you get more clients, attract the right ones for you, etc., but just because Mr. Uber-ProfeshSucessful Coach is doing something, doesn’t mean you have to do it too, especially if you hate it. If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a hell no, ALWAYS.
• Know that this is not an easy way to make a living or get rich quick profession. I once had someone email me and ask, “I’m thinking about becoming a life coach because it seems like an easy way to make a living. Can you help me?” When the truth is- it’s just like any other business in that there is marketing, selling, creating a likable brand and things of that nature. Plus, there’s no “half-assing” in heart-centered work. But, in some senses I suppose it is “easy” in that you get to do amazing work and help people. But again, when it comes to the business aspect, there is actual work involved.
• In the end, passion trumps everything. Please don’t become a coach if you’re not passionate about it. Of course you’ll have days that aren’t all peachy, but if you don’t feel called to the profession, you may want to look elsewhere. Your passion will serve your clients a great deal, and in the end, that’s what it’s all about, right?

One thing that’s really important to me in the work that I do is walking my own talk. In writing my book 52 Ways to Life a Kick-Ass Life, some of the chapters were easier to write than others. The three chapters/topics that are still sometimes hard for me in my life are: Control, perfectionism, and comparison.

Check out the podcast to hear how I deal with those three things! For each topic I give one tool on how to help the behaviors.

And I’d LOVE to hear from you…What can you relate to in these 3 topics I talked about? Control, perfectionism, and comparison?

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Show note(remember these are just notes! Much more in the podcast!):

We live in a world of scarcity. Not enough money, enough shoes, not enough stuff, not enough time.

And often times we think WE’RE not enough. We’re not thin enough, successful enough, productive enough, we don’t know what our passion is, life’s passing us by…

The point is: We focus on what we DON’T have.

Or, we complain. This person sucks and isn’t doing it right, our husbands don’t listen to us, we have too many bills, the weeds are too many on our lawn, our kids won’t stop fighting.

The point here is: We focus on what we DON’T want.

The Law of Attraction states the energy we focus on creates a vibration or frequency. That vibe or frequency will come back to us.

So, what if we can change what comes into our lives?

The answer here is to focus on what you DO want and what you DO have rather than what you don’t.

And even if you don’t believe in the LoA, trust me when I tell you focusing on what I just mentioned makes you FEEL way better than the opposite. No one is forcing you to focus on what you’re focusing on, you’re just used to it.

Some examples of what you might be focusing on that are making you feel bad are:
Bills/Money
Partners (all the stuff they do wrong)
Your body

How to help yourself:

One day at a time here. Shift when you know it’s happening. Change your thoughts to think about what you DO want. Whether you think about what you want right now…or go into future goals, dreams and aspirations. (I do this). It’s the fastest way to stop complaining in your head.

Shift to gratitude!

Conscious complaining. AKA “shitting glitter”. AKA venting. Getting it out for the sake of just getting it out.

Question for YOU: What are you committing to in regards to changing their focus?

Leave your answer in the comments!

As I mentioned in the podcast, The Master’s Course is open for registration

and HALF OFF only for a few more days!

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I start with some notes I took from Wikipedia and what Wiki says about beliefs:

• We tend to internalise the beliefs of the people around us during childhood. Most individuals believe the religion they were taught in childhood.
• Advertising can form or change beliefs through repetition, shock, and association with images of sex, love, beauty, and other strong imagery.

My definition is simple: A thought happens, maybe it came from advertising, childhood, past relationship, or current relationship. That thought happens over and over again = belief.

I think beliefs get reinforced in two ways:

1) Finding evidence. Thoughts create feelings, which create actions, which many times will show us evidence of the original thought. An example might be: Thought- “My husband doesn’t understand me”. Feeling- Frustrated, sad, resentful, closed off. Action- Not open to communication, saying negative things about her husband to her friends, being closed off from him. The evidence is going to show her that he doesn’t understand her because of the action she took. Make sense?

2) Repeating the belief to ourself in the form of negative thinking/self talk.

BIGGEST beliefs that hold us back:

1) I’m not worth it

2) I can’t do it

3) I’m not good enough

4) What if…

Helping it/What to do:

• Don’t feel like you can erase or erradicate all beliefs that hold you back. Don’t have to go from A to Z. Just from A to B.
• If it helps, think about where your beliefs come from. Not a place to point fingers/blame and shame, but it might be eye opening to see that they aren’t based on TRUTH, but on someone else’s opinions and judgements.
• Bite sized chunks! The biggest piece of advice I want to leave you with is to simply be aware of the beliefs that aren’t serving you.

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Here’s what’s happenin’ in episode 001:

• What you can expect from each podcast, how often, and when.
• Some personal stuff about what’s going on in my life, which includes my troubles shaving my armpits lately.
• Next up I talk about what living a kick-ass life means. I first go into the whole term of “living life on your terms”. That’s a term that gets thrown around a lot, don’t ya think? So, what does that even mean? I break it down to three things:
  • Your Values. What are they? Are you honoring them or are they forgotten?
  • Surrounding yourself with people that bring you joy and bring out your BIG ness.
  • Standing up for what you believe in and honoring your passions.
• I end with talking about the three BIG enchiladas of the inner-work. All of my podcasts will talk about inner-work and I’ll go into more detail with each, and in this podcast I mention:
  • Self talk: What’s happening with the conversation you have goin’ on in your noggin?
  • Feeling your feelings instead of numbing them.
  • Unconditional self love. Not whenever you do this, that, and the other. Loving yourself ALL the time.

And if this episode resonated with you I’d love for you to use those handy-dandy share buttons and share away!

Got an idea for future podcast topics? Email us at support@yourkickasslife.com.

Right click to download the .mp3.